The Chasing Thing

I've always walked Ryan to school and stayed there until the bell rang and watched him walk into the building. This year started out no differently. He's been in school just a little bit over a month now, and at one point, some of the girls started chasing him on the playground. Then one girl in particular was chasing him. That wasn't that big of a deal. She was chasing both Ryan & Zane, and they seemed to be having fun. They were faster than her, and she had trouble catching them. But after a while, some of the boys started getting involved. These boys were bigger than Ryan. And they don't seem to have a parent at the playground in the morning with them. There are actually a lot of kids that get dropped off without parents.

So, last week, the boys started getting a little more aggressive. On Thursday, they were pulling on Ryan's back pack and kind of pulling Ryan back. I don't remember him being pushed or pulled to the ground, but I did notice that they were being a bit rough, and at one point, the look on his face made me feel like he was a little bit afraid. Also, Zane would get in there and try to karate chop people to keep them off of Ryan. I didn't want him to do that, because he could get in trouble for it. So, I ended up calling the boys over, and I had Zane stay by me so that he wouldn't karate chop. I ended up telling this one boy (Anthony) not to hold onto Ryan. I told him that if he wanted to play, that he had to release him right away. He couldn't keep on holding onto him. And he was pretty respectful. But then some more kids were holding onto him. I ended up calling Ryan over and telling him that I didn't want them to play that anymore. I also told him not to run, because they are chasing him because he runs away from them. I told him that when I am there, I can keep an eye on him, and if he feels uncomfortable to come to me and I will tell the kids to leave him alone.

But then when were were talking about it and I told him that I was going to talk to the teacher, he said that at recess, they were pushing him on the ground and not letting him get up. I told him that he needed to tell a teacher, then, and he said they wouldn't let him up to tell the teacher. So, I told him to tell the teachers before he went out there so they could keep a watch. Ryan said that sometimes they squeeze him a little and it hurts, and he gets mad and gets a little tear in his eye. I don't want him to get so upset that he turns around and defends himself and gets in trouble for that.

On Friday, we went to the school and I reminded Ryan not to run from people, and that if they were rough with him to tell them that he didn't want him to do that and then come by me. I tried to keep a good eye on them, but they did say that one of the boys grabbed them and held them for a moment, but it must not have been that long, because they were only out of my sight for brief moments (just other kids being in front of them).

I was thinking about talking to the teacher, but because things were going well that day, I decided to hold off. I asked Ryan how school went when I went to pick him up, and he told me that some of the kids chased him and pushed him down and wouldn't let him up, but only for a little bit, because two of the kids got into a fight and then the teacher blew the whistle and recess was over. He said that the two kids might have gotten suspended (second grade!!!) I told him that I was going to have a talk with his teacher. I was going to in the morning, but decided not to, because it seemed like things were going well.

I talked to a friend of mine at church on Friday night about the situation with Ryan and the kids chasing him at school. She recommended I go straight to the principal about it, because the teacher isn't always out there, and everyone needs to be more aware of what's going on. She said they don't even have kids playing on the playground in the morning because of issues like this. I don't want to be the overprotective or overbearing mom, but at the same time, someone has to say something. So, I emailed the principal that same night and briefly explained what was going on and asked if we could have a meeting to discuss it and see if we can come up with a resolution.

So, on Monday morning, on my way back from the school, the principal emailed me already. She said that she would be available on Monday to meet with me. I was really impressed with the quick response.

When I had taken Ryan to school in the morning, one of the kids that has been chasing him (his name is Paul) was coming up to the boys with a look in his eyes like he was going to chase them. I did my finger in a motion for him to come over, and he did, and I told him that I didn't want him to be chasing Ryan. I told him that I was going to be having a meeting with the principal, and that I wasn't going to be getting anyone in trouble right now, but if Ryan continues to be chased, that kids might get in trouble. So, then Zane started talking to him and showing him his Halloween temporary tattoos and they just talked about Halloween costumes, etc. They were having a very nice conversation, and that was what I like to see.

Then when they kids were starting to walk in the school, I saw the kid Anthony that has also been chasing Ryan, and I said to him, "No chasing Ryan!" and he said, "I know". So, hopefully he'll leave Ryan alone.

So, after I dropped Zane off at afternoon Kindergarten, I stopped in to talk with the principal for about 20 minutes. She was so sweet. We got in there (I brought Delaney with me) and she gave Delaney a little toy to play with. I also brought a little coloring book and crayons for Delaney to keep her busy. We started talking

Two of the kids that have been chasing Ryan are on their "watch" list. She didn't name names, but was able to confirm names when I mentioned them. The other one was the kid I talked to on Monday that talked to Zane (Paul).

They've already become aware that the chasing and rought play is a problem. I already mentioned that on Friday, two of the kids got suspended for fighting. What's sad is that one of the kids that was supsended for fighting has a mom that is very involved. She takes him to school every day and she doesn't let him play on the playground but walks him up to the side of the building where they lune up when the bell rings, and she stands there with him and walks him all the way to the door. We talk briefly most days or at least say hi to each other. This child was in Ryan's class in Kindergarten and she was one of the helpers that would come in and read to the kids and help them read. I guess her son is one of the ones that is on the "high" watch tier. I had no idea. He seemed like a really good kid, and his mom is really on top of things as much as she can be, but she can't be there the whole day. Maybe he's one of those kids, who when provoked, tends to stick up for himself a little too aggressively. At least in that situation, the other boy got suspended, too. But I feel bad for that boy. The other boy that got suspended is one that was in our little group of boys when Ryan had his fieldtrip to Blackberry Farm last spring. I knew this little boy sometimes caused problems, and a few times he got Ryan in trouble, because he was messing around. Ryan also said that he sometimes knocked Ryan on the ground on the playground, but it didn't happen all the time. He's not a big kid either. Just aggressive. I feel a little bad, because I remember when I used to listen to Ryan's class read last year, this bo8y had a few times that he had a h ard time with his books, and he would get really upset that he was having trouble with some of his books, and he would get really upset that he was having troublewith some of the words. I had once or twice that he started crying and I gave him a little bit of time to collect himself and then encouraged him to continue reading. I have a feeling that he might not be in the best home environment.

Anyway, the principal said that on Friday, they went over with the Second Grade classes what was appropriate tag playing, etc. They even showed examples on how to tag, and then what wasn't appropriate. The principal was involved in helping explain that to the kids. She also told me that they didn't have certain equipment like jump ropes and balls over in that area, and they are putting those out, and that they are working on teaching the kids fun activites that involve better cooperation, like kickball and soccer, and jump rope and hopscotch, and r ed rover, etc. So, there is alot of stuff they are doing to try to keep on top of things, and they are really working with the ones that are causing the m ost trouble. I think there are a few other boys that are in that category that aren't bothering Ryan, but they are probably bothering others. She said that if it comes to it, she can always cancel playground time in the morning, but that she doesn't want to see it come to that, because sometimes, this is the only kind of outdoor play that some of these kids get, because their parents don't feel it is safe for them to play outside in their neighborhoods. And I didn't want it to resort to that until the last resort anyway.

She also said that some of the kids get dropped off before 7:30, and she is trying to encourage those parents to have their kids go in for breakfast, because they don't have anyone supervising the playgrounds until 7:45. If they go in for breakfast, then they are monitored indoors and then they are all brought out together at 7:45. There are a lot of kids that are left unmonitored there. I am surprised at how many don't have their parents there with them.

So, I am feeling really good about the meeting. She wants me to let her know how kids are doing with Ryan. She said that when they are doing well, she wants to know as well, because they like to reward good behavior as well.

I asked Ryan how things went at recess Monday after school, and he said that he played Batman with Paul (the boy I talked to in the morning) and two other boys. I was so happy to hear that.

This morning when I took Ryan to school, the whole playground seemed to be playing much more quietly. The teachers did blow their whistles a couple of times, but I don't know if that was for rough play, or if they just were trying to keep kids safe because a lot of the equipment was wet.

So, that's the long version of what's been going on with Ryan and the chasing at school. We are keeping watch, and I am checking in with him every day, and I am going to keep in communication with the principal, and hopefully we will see a reduced amount of rough play.